"Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you."
John 20:21

Dear Readers,
A popular saying maintains that it is always darkest before the dawn. If that is so, then we truly exist in a dark time now. We are slowly coming to terms with the aftermath and the terrible effects of the worst terrorist attack on the United States of America. During this time we must band together and give strength to each other.

How do we help our children, who have witnessed the collapse and destruction of the World Trade Center, the attack on the Pentagon, and the hijacked plane crash in Pennsylvania? How do we help children who have witnessed the terrible devastation brought about by the terrorist attacks?

Signs to Watch For
It is important during this time for persons to be able to express their feelings. While adults may find it comforting to talk about this tragedy with one or two other adults, children often need some help in experiencing their feelings.

• Pay special attention to a child who begins to demonstrate periods of withdrawal; the reasons for this withdrawal should be examined. Often the child may simply be experiencing a desire to remove him/herself from the crowd and have some peace and quiet. But if a normally talkative, social child suddenly becomes reserved and withdrawn, the child should be treated with loving care and concern.
  
  
• Sometimes children begin to complain of unexplained aches and pains. The child may be overly worried and convinced that every cold and sniffle is fatal. This preoccupation with self is often a sign of the deep insecurity that the child may be experiencing. The child’s sniffles may appear inconsequential to you and in fact they are. But to a child who feels that she or he has lost control over life, those same sniffles may be as frightening as terrors in the night.
  
  
• Some children may exhibit an attitude of perfectionism. After a disaster such as that of September 11, they may be overly concerned about controlling things or persons and events in their lives. If a child feels that his or her life is becoming increasingly out of control, one way of creating some order is by attempting to do everything perfectly.
  
  
• Children who are experiencing great anxiety may look as if they need a good night’s sleep. They may be having nightmares or difficulty sleeping. At the same time children often use sleep as an escape. Some children may be sleeping longer and longer hours until quite literally they are "sleeping their lives away."
  
  
• Some children may experience eating disorders. This may mean that a child overeats, under-eats, or becomes fixated on one particular food and eats only that.
  
  
• Some children have terrible temper tantrums. It is often easy to overlook or misunderstand the terrible sadness that is at the foundation of the child’s anger.

Helping Children Who Are Anxious
It is important to note that children manifest anxiety in different ways at different ages.

Between the ages of five and approximately seven years, children are typically lovable, changeable, ego-centered, and operating on an imaginative or symbolic level. During this time it is not unusual for children to experience great mood swings. Little ones go from agony to ecstasy easily. Do not let children who are seven years of age or under continually watch scenes of the disaster on television. This is the time to watch a video, read a book together, or play a game in which all may participate. It may help for very young children to draw a picture of what they feel. Have your child explain the drawing and tell you how they felt when they were sketching the picture.

Children between the ages of eight and ten tend to rely on the support of their peers more than younger children. Children at this age are beginning to develop a sense of what is right and wrong, and often at this age children begin to realize that there is great pain in life. You can not hide the horror of what has happened from these children. But be certain to assure them that even when bad things happen, God loves us and is with us always. At this age children like to do things in groups. Have the children work on a group project. Let the children decide on a project of their own choice. But be prepared for the children to come up with wonderful ideas such as sending toys to the children who have lost their parents or sending Thank You cards to the rescuers.

Preadolescents and teens or children ages 11 to 19 are experiencing one of the most turbulent periods in human development. During this period young people experience more physical, psychological, and social development than at any other period in life except infancy. At this age young people can be either great optimists or great pessimists. First, help them not to be overwhelmed by this tragedy. Let them talk about their anger, fear, and frustration. These children may also want to take part in some action. They may want to write a note to a rescue worker or take part in a prayer service.

Adapted from "What is helpful to know about your Student" pages in the Catechist Workshop section of each Teachers' Edition of the Coming to Faith Program.

Note: The Salvation Army is accepting letters at the following address:

Salvation Army/Disaster Relief
P.O. Box C635
West Nyack, New York 10994-1739.

Write "Compassion Campaign" on the outside of the letter and also "Rescuer" or "Sympathy."

Answering the Questions

Will There Be Another Attack?
Young people seek answers to concerns that they have about their real lives. Answer their questions honestly and gently. They may ask if there will be another attack. Assure your child that everything is being done to keep us safe in our homes, schools, and places of business.

Why Do the Terrorists Hate Us So Much?
Some children will want to know why the terrorists hate us so much. You may want to explain to your child that there are some things we will just never understand. Although we are each surrounded by God's love, there are people who do hateful things.

What Can We Do?
In addition to the activities listed above, you might want to take some time to read the following letter from the United States Catholic Bishops:

"The Harvest of Justice is Sown in Peace"
A Reflection of the National Conference of Catholic Bishops
http://www.nccbuscc.org/sdwp/harvest.htm

Take some time to think about our call to be peacemakers, as found in the gospel, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you." John 20:21

The Human Toll of Violence.
At home and abroad, we see the terrible human and moral costs of violence. In regional wars, in crime and terrorism, in ecological devastation and economic injustice, in abortion and renewed dependence on capital punishment, we see the tragic consequences of a growing lack of respect for human life. We cannot really be peacemakers around the world unless we seek to protect the lives and dignity of the vulnerable in our midst. We must stand up for human life wherever it is threatened. This is the essence of our consistent life ethic and the starting point for genuine peacemaking.

The Vocation of Peacemaking.
Part of the legacy of The Challenge of Peace is the call to strengthen peacemaking as an essential dimension of our faith, reminding us that Jesus called us to be peacemakers. Our biblical heritage and our body of tradition make the vocation of peacemaking mandatory. Authentic prayer, worship and sacramental life challenge us to conversion of our hearts and summon us to works of peace. These concerns are obviously not ours alone, but are the work of the entire community of faith and of all people of good will. A decade ago, our letter sought to be a catalyst and resource for the larger national debate on the moral dimensions of war and peace. Today, we hope these reflections may serve as a call to consider the challenges of peacemaking and solidarity in a very different, but still dangerous world.

View previous questions and answers in the Nurturing Faith Archive.

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